Monday, October 23, 2006

How to manage the relationships ?

Relationships, the bond between persons which makes them interact, make them spend time together, have fun, share sorrows and know each other.
Its not about blood, its not about love, it’s not about friendship. Its about being practical. The moment the relationship looses its practicality, the strain comes. And believe me, its true. The relations based on pure emotions never lives and even if it lives, it hurts, gives pain. The irony is that People dont accept it, until they experience it. And, no moral boosting gyan and fundas by author like Robin Sharma is going to help in this.
Also, what you do, once your relation gets over is very important. Learn from it, but more importantly be ready to forget it. No need, to remember the beautiful past every time. Just move on in life. Yes, I am talking about being practical. I am not ignoring the importance of emotions in a relation, but just being emotional and sensitive is going to ruin your life. I have seen my best friend, who had a very long affair with another of my best friend. They broke up, but they continued being friends, only because they became practical. They did not have a spontaneous breakup; they broke after a long discussion. They both are happy and meet each other. Also, never hurt your family because of that one particular person. Doing that is never going to make the persons being in relationship happy.
I know many people may not agree to this , because they are on a high when they are in relationship, but trust me …be a bit cool minded….ponder over yourself ….think about the people who form the links in that relationship. And you will understand. If one is not able to understand this, than go ahead. I am not advocating that people should not take their relation seriously, but they should not take at the cost of their family, their other friends. Because, if a relationship affects one’s family and other friends, than there is some basic fundamental flaw in the relation with that special one.
I know I am being hard, and will be hated by people who are very sensitive and emotional, but I am being very sincere in this writing. Also, it might be mistaken by being total insensitive towards the emotional part, but that’s not true. I respect emotions, and accept that emotions have been instrumental in keeping my relationship intact with many closed ones, but also there is a lot of practicality involved. And, I have seen relations just based on emotions dying again and again. Experienced many times and observed many times.
Oh my god, I am being repetitive, cant write like Keshi, one of my favorite blogger who write a lot on relationships. But, just wanted to put one message across. Be sensitive, but more importantly be practical. You can have the real fun of relationship then.
This thread is dedicated to one of my best friend, with whom I spent some really wonderful time but could not manage the relationship any more. Hope, we can be practical and be friends again.


White Forest said...

Relationships is all about understanding and make other person understand!

shruti said...

ur wordings are hard but the very fact of life..
sensitivenessent and practicability are 2 different things..
we have to accept when we know that our relation is not going to survive and its better we break apart rather than fighting again and agian on some every useless issues..

amitsinha said...

i agree with u completely , but understanding is the most difficult part in a relation . they get carried out by emotions more than understanding and realize it later.
@ shruti, hi!
its really hard to break the bond , but practically its the best solution , i think , than to fight over useless issues.

vibhor said...

hi amit,
you have put down some real hard facts of life...
its true that if a particular relationship cant work between two it doesnt mean no relation can work out between them...
i, myself had seen many people breaking their marriage and live seperated maintaining another kinda bond and respected them...

amitsinha said...

hi vibhor ! ur ryt .. the maturity level should be there to carry on the bonding , may be, other type of relation !

divya said...

relations..thats something i wud never dare to write about..but i don't know why u think that sometimes moving on from a relationship means being insensitive..i think it means being sensitive and understanding wht the relation needs? its weird but..well!! did i make any sense??

sanjay jha said...

nameste amit

happy blogging

amitsinha said...


namaste jhaji,

would love 2 see ur movies!

@ divya,
yes doctor, U have made sense to it , as sometimes its good for both of them to move on with proper understanding.
Though, I dont mean that moving on a relationship is being insensitive , but I just feel, that if two people can be mature enough and be a bit practical, then they can carry on with the relation though may be in a different form. Separation can be the last thing in their minds.

Saurabh said...

Good observation. Nicely written too! But relationships can be so complex that it is almost impossible to abstract rules of engagement.

Keshi said...

hey Amit hows it going?


Keshi said...

**Be sensitive, but more importantly be practical

thats all there is to it :)


Saurabh said...

You are being tagged :-)

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sushmita said...

Yes I do agree with you..its about practicality…..when we're emotinal we only think of the hurts and the wrongs the other person has done to us in the relationship..but we forget that we may have hand in all those wrongdoings…but I don't agree with forgetting the past..yes we should move on…..but to forget is to not respect the person and the realtionship…life is too short..and in the end its all about thegood times we spent……